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Lundy Bancroft


Lundy Bancroft is an author, workshop leader, and consultant on domestic abuse and child maltreatment. His work focuses on three areas:

 1)  Training professionals on best practices for intervening with male perpetrators of violence against women, toward the goal of promoting accountability and requiring change,    2)  Training professionals on the dynamics of emotional injury and recovery in children who are exposed to a man who abuses their mother, to prepare participants to offer the most effective and safe assistance possible to children and their mothers,   and  3)  Supporting healing and empowerment for abused women, with an emphasis on advocating for the human rights of mothers and their children. READ MORE

Daily Wisdom for

Why Does He Do That?: 

Encouragement for Women Involved with Angry and Controlling Men


Support. Understanding. Clarity. A direction for the future.

Lundy Bancroft’s new book offers women daily guidance and inspiration for meeting the challenges of living with a controlling partner. In short, compassionate pieces that take about ten minutes to read, Lundy helps the reader navigate the confusion, emotional wounding, and intimidation that angry and controlling men cause.

The book cycles through the following topics:

*  How to keep your head clear from your partner’s twisted thinking

*  Forming the best possible friendship with yourself

*  Keeping yourself in one piece today so you can be strong for tomorrow

*  Developing an outlook that keeps you on track even as he tries to derail you

*  Improving your relationships with all of the people you care about

*  Being fully present for your children

*  Healing your emotional wounds and regaining your power

Daily Wisdom For ‘Why Does He Do That?” is for every woman who is looking for help with her relationship. You do not need to have read any of Lundy’s previous books, including Why Does He Do That?, to understand and draw strength from the new book.

Pre-order now for April 7, 2015 publication date.

Daily Wisdom cover
Why Does He Do That?
Inside the minds of Angry & Contolling Men

“He doesn’t mean to hurt me-he just loses control.”
“He can be sweet and gentle.”
“He’s scared me a few times, but he never hurts the children-he’s a great father.”
“He’s had a really hard life…”

Women in abusive relationships tell themselves these things every day, trying to make sense out of what is happening. Now, thanks to Why Does He Do That?,  they can see inside the minds of angry and controlling men–and change their own lives. In this groundbreaking book, a counselor shows how to improve, survive, or leave an abusive relationship. Lundy Bancroft answers the 20 questions that women most commonly ask about their controlling partners, including such subjects as:

The early warning signs
Nine abusive personality types
How to tell if an abuser can change — and whether he will

The role of drugs and alcohol
What can be fixed, and what can’t
How to leave a relationship safely

The Batterer as Parent: Addressing the Impact of Domestic Violence on Family Dynamics

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The Batterer as Parent takes the reader inside of homes affected by domestic violence, imparting an understanding of the atmosphere that battering men create for the children who live with them. Bancroft and Silverman show how partner abuse affects each relationship in a family, and explain how emotional recovery is inextricably linked to the healing and empowerment of the mothers. The authors cover the important but often-overlooked area of the post-separation parenting behaviors of men who batter, including their use of custody litigation as a tool of abuse. Readers also are guided in evaluating change in the parenting of men who batter, assessing risk to children from unsupervised visitation, and supporting the emotional recovery of children. Although the book is written primarily for professionals, its accessible style makes it engaging and useful for abused mothers and anyone else wishing to assist children exposed to battering.

Excellent. I’ve been waiting for this book. It is a crisp, cogent, comprehensive exegesis on batterers, their parenting styles, their custody litigation practices, and the adverse impact of their violence on battered mothers and their children. A must-read for attorneys, advocates, custody evaluators, judges, and batterer intervention service providers.

–Barbara Hart, J.D., Legal Director, Battered Women’s Justice Project/Civil Division



Should I Stay or Should I Go?

Order from Powell’s $16.00 Ships in 1 to 3 days Order from Amazon Order from Barnes & Noble Are you tired of that aching feeling in your heart? Do you feel like you’re having to work every day to earn your partner’s love? Has your partner cheated on you? This book guides women in putting their finger on exactly what has gone wrong in their relationships, and knowing what decisive action to take now. Find out whether your relationship can be repaired, and how to fix it. And if it’s beyond repair – we’ll tell you how to know when it’s time to end it – we will help you move through your disappointment and anger to build a new life that is vibrant and satisfying, where you are in charge of what happens. Here’s what we cover:

    1. How to tell the root cause of why your partner isn’t giving you the love you deserve. Is it immaturity? Fear of commitment? Addiction? Mental health problems? Abusiveness? You’ll learn how to test for each of these, and what it means if the answer is yes.
    2. How to get your partner to listen to you and understand that he has to work on himself and make changes.
    3. How to point him toward the right kind of help – and how to find out if he’s serious about growing up and changing or not.
    4. How to get yourself stronger and happier, so that you can face up to the hard challenge of ending your relationship if it turns out you need to. And if your partner does manage to grow in the ways you need him to, you’ll still benefit from learning how to keep yourself on solid ground emotionally, so that you don’t rise and fall with the ups and downs of your relationship.
    5. If you have to move on, you’ll learn how to choose a partner next time who will treat you the way you deserve to be treated, won’t cheat on you, and will make you a priority.

This is the book women have been waiting for. It offers information, insights, and a clear plan of action. Lundy Bancroft, the country’s best-known author on abusive relationships, teams up with women’s advocate and workshop leader JAC Patrissi to bring you this hopeful and empowering guidebook.



When Dad Hurts Mom: Helping Your Children Heal the Wounds of Witnessing Abuse

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Can my partner abuse me and still be a good parent? Should I stay with my partner for my children’s sake? How should I talk to my children about the abuse and help them heal? Am I a bad mother? Mothers in physically or emotionally abusive relationships ask themselves these questions every day. Here, a counselor reveals how abusers interact with and manipulate children-and how mothers can help their children recover from the trauma of witnessing abuse. This book, the first ever of its kind, shows mothers how to:

      1. Protect children and help them heal emotionally
      2. Provide love, support, and positive role models, even in the midst of abuse
      3. Increase their chances of winning custody
      4. Help their kids feel good about themselves

The perfect, long-awaited guide for mothers who have been abused… also essential reading for every social worker, custody evaluator, guardian ad litem, custody attorney, child protection worker and judge.

– Joan Zorza, Esquire, Editor, Domestic Violence Report


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