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Should I Stay or Should I Go?

Should I Stay or Should I Go?

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Are you tired of that aching feeling in your heart? Do you feel like you’re having to work every day to earn your partner’s love? Has your partner cheated on you? This book guides women in putting their finger on exactly what has gone wrong in their relationships, and knowing what decisive action to take now.

Find out whether your relationship can be repaired, and how to fix it. And if it’s beyond repair – we’ll tell you how to know when it’s time to end it – we will help you move through your disappointment and anger to build a new life that is vibrant and satisfying, where you are in charge of what happens.

Here’s what we cover:

    1. How to tell the root cause of why your partner isn’t giving you the love you deserve. Is it immaturity? Fear of commitment? Addiction? Mental health problems? Abusiveness? You’ll learn how to test for each of these, and what it means if the answer is yes.
    2. How to get your partner to listen to you and understand that he has to work on himself and make changes.
    3. How to point him toward the right kind of help – and how to find out if he’s serious about growing up and changing or not.
    4. How to get yourself stronger and happier, so that you can face up to the hard challenge of ending your relationship if it turns out you need to. And if your partner does manage to grow in the ways you need him to, you’ll still benefit from learning how to keep yourself on solid ground emotionally, so that you don’t rise and fall with the ups and downs of your relationship.
    5. If you have to move on, you’ll learn how to choose a partner next time who will treat you the way you deserve to be treated, won’t cheat on you, and will make you a priority.

This is the book women have been waiting for. It offers information, insights, and a clear plan of action.

Lundy Bancroft, the country’s best-known author on abusive relationships, teams up with women’s advocate and workshop leader JAC Patrissi to bring you this hopeful and empowering guidebook.


Why Does He Do That? Inside the Minds Of Angry and Controlling Men

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      1. “He doesn’t mean to hurt me-he just loses control.”
      2. “He can be sweet and gentle.”
      3. “He’s scared me a few times, but he never hurts the children — he’s a great father.”
      4. “He’s had a really hard life…”

Women in abusive relationships tell themselves these things every day. Now they can see inside the minds of angry and controlling men-and change their own lives. In this groundbreaking book, a counselor shows how to improve, survive, or leave an abusive relationship, with:

      1. The early warning signs
      2. Nine abusive personality types
      3. How to tell if an abuser can change, is changing, or ever will
      4. The role of drugs and alcohol
      5. What can be fixed, and what can’t
      6. How to leave a relationship safely

This is without a doubt the most informative and useful book yet written on the subject of abusive men. Women who are armed with the insights found in these pages will be on the road to recovering control of their lives.

–Jay G. Silverman, PhD, Director, Violence Prevention Programs, Harvard School of Public Health


When Dad Hurts Mom: Helping Your Children Heal the Wounds of Witnessing Abuse

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Can my partner abuse me and still be a good parent? Should I stay with my partner for my children’s sake? How should I talk to my children about the abuse and help them heal? Am I a bad mother?

Mothers in physically or emotionally abusive relationships ask themselves these questions every day. Here, a counselor reveals how abusers interact with and manipulate children-and how mothers can help their children recover from the trauma of witnessing abuse.

This book, the first ever of its kind, shows mothers how to:

      1. Protect children and help them heal emotionally
      2. Provide love, support, and positive role models, even in the midst of abuse
      3. Increase their chances of winning custody
      4. Help their kids feel good about themselves

The perfect, long-awaited guide for mothers who have been abused… also essential reading for every social worker, custody evaluator, guardian ad litem, custody attorney, child protection worker and judge.

– Joan Zorza, Esquire, Editor, Domestic Violence Report


The Batterer as Parent: Addressing the Impact of Domestic Violence on Family Dynamics

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The Batterer as Parent takes the reader inside of homes affected by domestic violence, imparting an understanding of the atmosphere that battering men create for the children who live with them. Bancroft and Silverman show how partner abuse affects each relationship in a family, and explain how emotional recovery is inextricably linked to the healing and empowerment of the mothers. The authors cover the important but often-overlooked area of the post-separation parenting behaviors of men who batter, including their use of custody litigation as a tool of abuse. Readers also are guided in evaluating change in the parenting of men who batter, assessing risk to children from unsupervised visitation, and supporting the emotional recovery of children. Although the book is written primarily for professionals, its accessible style makes it engaging and useful for abused mothers and anyone else wishing to assist children exposed to battering.

Excellent. I’ve been waiting for this book. It is a crisp, cogent, comprehensive exegesis on batterers, their parenting styles, their custody litigation practices, and the adverse impact of their violence on battered mothers and their children. A must-read for attorneys, advocates, custody evaluators, judges, and batterer intervention service providers.

–Barbara Hart, J.D., Legal Director, Battered Women’s Justice Project/Civil Division

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