The Protective Mothers Alliance is a national organization devoted to bringing about dramatic reforms in the treatment of abused mothers and abused children in family law proceedings. Our group puts the leadership of protective mothers at the forefront, although other women and men are welcome to join as allies.
Among the many common family law practices that we work to stop are:
- The granting of custody of children to men who abuse women
- The granting of custody of children to perpetrators of sexual abuse
- The granting of unsupervised contact with children to abusers with no requirement that they overcome their abusiveness
- Labeling protective mothers as “parental alienators” and punishing them on that basis for their appropriate protective efforts
- Misusing psychological testing to support abusive fathers
- Forcing protective mothers to spend tens of thousands of dollars on litigation, money that could have gone to building their children’s future.
The Protective Mothers Alliance works to stop these practices and reform family law courts, through street protests, letter-writing campaigns, media outreach, developing support groups for protective mothers, public speaking, and other social change strategies.
If you are interested in starting a local chapter of the Protective Mothers Alliance, we ask that you do the following:
- Read the list of agreements below and make sure that you are comfortable with them and that they fit your goals.
- Call or email us to give us the following information:
- Your name and contact information, including email address
- The name of your group and the town/city and state in which it is based (if you don’t have a name for your group, you can call it “Protective Mothers Alliance for Justice -- _______(your location) Chapter”).
- Give us a brief description of where your group stands currently, such as how many members you have (one is fine – you have to begin somewhere), what next steps you envision taking, and what kind of help or advice you would like from us.
- Let us know whether you want to hear about national projects that we need volunteers for, that your group might be able to take on, such as assembling a list of professionals nationally who are willing to provide expert testimony, compiling a list of resources for women who are representing themselves, creating a guide to community organizing strategies for protecting mothers, and many other pieces of necessary work that we could review with you.
Janice Levinson, Director -- (941) 822-5592
Lundy Bancroft -- (413) 582-6700
Please leave us your email address if you don’t succeed in reaching us.Agreements that members and member groups are asked to follow:
- We support the custody rights of mothers, with an understanding of the unique discrimination, abuse, and denial of basic human rights that mothers face as women in the family law system.
- We respect the anonymity of all protective mothers we work with, except where explicitly agreed otherwise by the mother.
- We only offer advice to women who request it. We respect women’s right to decide for themselves what way of handling their case is best for them and for their children. We recognize the commonality of the injustices that protective mothers suffer, but we also recognize the uniqueness of each mother and of each legal case.
- We intend to be an organization largely made up of protective mothers themselves. We support the leadership of survivors, and we support the right of survivors to have the critical say over the running of their own organizations.
- We treat all mothers with equality and respect regardless of race, level of income, sexual orientation, or political opinions.
- We strive to treat each other with kindness, patience, supportiveness, and empathy, and without judgment or criticism. We appreciate each person’s strengths, and strive to learn from each other. We share experience, strength, and hope. We share time speaking and time listening.
- We run our groups democratically, with each member having an equal say.
What Member Groups Can Expect from the National Protective Mothers Alliance Office
We are here to support and assist your local efforts. Specifically, you can count on us to do the following:- Help you plan and strategize.
- Assist with resolving conflicts that may arise within your group that interfere with your effectiveness in taking action.
- Offer national leadership trainings periodically that you can attend.
- Work together with you on any project that has national relevance (such as forming lists of expert witnesses, creating a detailed national statement about the necessary reforms, or performing scholarly research)
- Keep member groups informed of each other’s efforts through a periodic newsletter.
What the National Protective Mothers Alliance Office Needs From You
- Please keep us informed of what your group is doing, so that we can share information about your efforts with other groups. Knowing that we are not alone is the key to staying inspired. We will be sending out periodic newsletters by email to keep all member groups up to date.
- Please let us know quickly when your group is having difficulties, such as internal conflicts or negative publicity, so that we can help.
- Your national office cannot expand its role without funds. We are pursuing various funding sources, but in the mean time we also ask that local group members send an annual contribution to the national office if they are able. We ask for between $10 and $15 per year from anyone who can afford that amount.
Strategies for Locating Other Protective Mothers in Your Geographical Area
The first step to building a chapter of the Protective Mothers Alliance is to locate other women who have experienced abuse of their rights in family law proceedings. This recruitment will be an ongoing need for your group. Here are suggestions for how to find each other:- Ask your nearest program for abused women to refer mothers to you that are having bad experiences in custody proceedings.
- Put a notice about your group on bulletin boards and in your local newspaper.
- Sit in at court to observe hearings, and approach mothers during breaks who appear to be dealing with abusive ex-partners or who are being mistreated by court personnel.
- Ask local therapists and community mental health centers to refer protective mothers to you.
- Create a brochure about your group to circulate locally.
Mothers can face a tough decision about their own safety when working to form a the Protective Mothers Alliance group. On the one hand, you need to put your name and phone number on flyers and notices, so that other mothers can connect with you. On the other hand, judges and custody evaluators sometimes retaliate against mothers who are known to be taking their experiences public or becoming activists, by doing even worse things to the mother.
Although there is no easy way to resolve this bind, we have a couple of suggestions; 1) See if an ally, male or female, who does not have a court case, is willing to be the initial contact, who then funnels calls to you; 2) Use an email address that is not obviously connected to you, and have mothers connect to you at that address first, before giving them your name or phone number.
Strategies for Surviving Your Own Custody Litigation
- Find women whose cases are in the same court as yours, or even before the same judge, and attend each other’s hearings for support and to let the court know that it is being watched.
- Find community leaders who are sympathetic, to be influential allies, and to be present at hearings when possible.
- Form a chapter of the Protective Mothers Alliance for Justice.
- Bring at least two people with you to each hearing if possible.
- Find an expert witness if possible. The expert does not necessarily have to be a person with tremendous academic credentials, if you cannot afford the expense of that kind of expert. The Internet is your best bet for tracking down possible experts, but also try your local battered women’s program, your state coalition of battered women’s programs, and some of the other phone numbers listed in the “Child Custody, Divorce, and Child Support” section of the Resources page of this website.
- Look for ways to keep your case out of court.
- Build a network of emotionally supportive allies.
- Keep working on having the best possible relationship with your children, and keep reaching to be the best parent you can be.
- Think long-term about the strategy for your case and about approaches to keep your children emotionally well and strong.
- Listen carefully to your intuition (even when it means not following the suggestions above). When you find it necessary to take risks (such as to ask for a trial), reflect on what timing is best for taking that step, and try to be sure that you have the necessary support to take it on.