Lundy Bancroft's Website
Find Freedom and Healing from Trauma,
Abuse, and Childhood Wounds

Contact Lundy

Please read the information below before calling Lundy, to save yourself frustration!!

Lundy receives far more phone calls each week than he is able to return. The phone number listed on this site is primarily for calling to inquire about setting up a speaking engagement with Lundy. If you are planning to call for any other purpose, please read carefully through the material below first, to help you find the information you are looking for as quickly as possible, and to help save yourself the frustration of having difficulty getting your call returned.

First … If you are calling to inquire about the possibility of scheduling a speaking engagement with Lundy, including rates, topics, and availability, go ahead and call. Your call will be returned. You might also read the Speaking engagements page of this website, which shows Lundy’s upcoming schedule and lists some of the topics he most commonly addresses.

Second …If you are looking for referrals to group programs or individual counselors for abusive men:

Lundy does not have a national directory of programs for abusive men, and cannot provide referrals to local programs. People who are seeking services for men should call their nearest program for abused women, and ask that program for a referral to an abuser program for men. (Some of these programs also offer services for abusive lesbians or gay men.) Abused women’s programs are in the best position to evaluate which abuser programs (also called Batterer Intervention Programs) are of the highest quality, safest, and most victim-advocacy oriented.

For more information on how to evaluate the quality of an abuser program, see my web article “Assessing and Monitoring Programs for Men Who Abuse Women”.

Some callers are seeking services for verbally and psychologically abusive men who are not physically or sexually violent. Specialized services for verbally abusive men are rarely available currently, so men who are serious about changing should participate in a Batterer Intervention Program. Be aware also that most abusive men who claim that their abuse is strictly verbal or psychological are in denial about times when they were deliberately physically intimidating; made overt threats; used forms of violence such as grabbing, poking, or shoving; or coerced the woman into unwanted sexual contact. Men with any history of such behavior should participate in a batterer program, as they meet the definition for physical abuse.

Some callers are seeking information about Cooperative Therapy, which is explained elsewhere on this website. Cooperative Therapy is not an abuser program; it is a system for emotional healing and recovery that is in fact not appropriate for abusive men. Some abused women choose to use Cooperative Therapy to assist in their own healing. Non-abusive men and other people seeking support and recovery are also invited to participate.

Third… If you are seeking referrals to programs and individual counselors for abused women.

Lundy does not have a national directory of counselors for abused women. If you do not know where to find your nearest program, call the national domestic violence hotline at (800) 799-SAFE. If you with to find an individual therapist for yourself instead of using abused women’s services, the women’s program can help you find a therapist who is knowledgeable about abuse for you to contact.

Fourth… If you are looking for assistance with matters related to child custody and visitation, and child protection:

Lundy returns as many custody-related calls as he can, but the number of calls is quite a bit too high at this point for him to be able to return them all. Before calling, please do the following two things: 1) Please go to the Child Custody Justice page of this website and read all of the information there carefully. This section contains most of what Lundy would be able to tell you over the phone. Then, 2) Look over the “Child Custody, Divorce, and Child Support” section of the Resources page of this website, to see what additional resources you could draw upon.

If you are interested in hiring Lundy for expert testimony, here are some things to keep in mind: 1) Judges tend to prefer experts who are Ph.D.’s or M.D.’s or in some other way are “Dr. Someone”, which Lundy is not. Although Lundy has been qualified as an expert each time he has entered a courtroom to provide expert testimony, that doesn’t mean that the judge is necessarily going to give his testimony a lot of weight. You should try to find a local expert if possible (which will save you a lot of money) or an expert with strong academic credentials. The Child Custody Justice page of this website has suggestions on strategies for finding an expert witness.

Lundy is available sometimes (depending on his schedule) to serve as a legal consultant on cases, and this role is probably a more productive one than testifying as an expert, although Lundy continues to serve as an expert occasionally where he believes it could help a protective parent’s case.

Fifth… If you are looking for counseling services from Lundy, either for abusive men or for abused women, he is not able to provide direct services at this time because of his speaking, writing, and community organizing responsibilities. He does offer Weekend Healing Retreats some of which are specifically for formerly abused women, others of which are directed at advocates and activists, and others that are open to anyone who is interested in taking part (pending review of a brief application). These retreats are not appropriate for abusive or violent men, although other men are welcome – in fact encouraged – to attend. For counseling services, see the points above under “Second…” and “Third…”.

Lundy Bancroft’s phone number is (413) 582-6700.